Services include getting the most honest & accurate Highlands Ranch Real Estate information in existence, mostly for FREE
Home Owner Services
I heard Dr. Phil said ninety-one percent of depressed home owners in Highlands Ranch are from remodeling projects going so bad they took four years longer than estimated and seven-hundred percent over budget, during which time, the apparently part-time contractor, typically buys himself a brand-new $159,000 GMC 3500 dually pickup truck with Cummins diesel, Allison transmission, and some fancy tailgate that folds into thirteen positions—plus a new luxury camper and speed boat to tow behind it, because he needed a lot of vacations due to the stress of the remodeling job. The worse part? When the owners sell their home, after the divorce from the stress of the remodeling project, the buyers often demand a massive concession as they hated the looks of the remodeling
How do I really know what home prices and real estate trends are doing in my neighborhood, when every realtor I ask tells me something different, yet they all end with the same statement "it's a great time to sell"
Why did no one in the government, real estate industry or financial markets see the greatest recession of my lifetime hitting in 2008? I don't want to sell today, but I want to avoid trying to sell during eight years of negative equity
Knowing what to do can sometimes be better than guessing
Home Seller Services
Seriously, what happens if I over-price my home; do I sit here night-after-night, afraid to move as I might mess something up with the perfect facade I've been stress-fully living for a month now—of course at the very moment my only potential buyer pounds on the door for a showing, which I knew nothing about because the battery on my phone when dead since I am addicted to scanning Zillow until midnight every night trying to determine why no one is coming to see my home
When I put my home on the market I had no gray hair and now I do, and wrinkles, thanks—is it because my house has been on the market so long, or because it's been so stressful not knowing how long it will take to sell that's turning me into an old hag
Okay, maybe it's all my fault because I just wanted to get to market and not delay by spending months and money doing repairs and upgrades—I mean I did let that first contractor in, living with insufferable dust and his incessant speaker-phone conversations full of excuses to other home owners why their projects aren't done yet either. I need something more than opinions of what buyers want and how I'm going to recover my upgrade expenses
Home Buyer Services
Prices in Highlands Ranch seem to go up a lot every year. I'm terrified as soon as I put everything I have on the line to buy a home, including selling my plasma every week at some place where I don't think they clean the needles or the waiting room, values will drop—probably forever, and I'll never be able to sell and will have to work three jobs the rest of my life while eating nothing but expired cat food—the extra nasty liver and anchovy flavor
I can't afford a house payment. Yea, the lender says I can, but would he if he wasn't earning a commission? The insurance agent gave me a "firm quote" but we all know insurance goes up every year. The inspector says I'm buying a great home, but she's not on the hook for the foundation collapsing the day after closing and exterminating the poltergeist living in my sewer pipes. The title company says that my five-hundred pages of documents are complete and ready for my signature. What the hell am I signing that takes five-hundred pages to dig my grave—I mean buy my house? And the realtor—he just drools every time he quotes the sale price
I shouldn't even worry, my perfect home doesn't exist anyway, but if it ever does, it will hit the market for half-price the day after I succumb to the pressures of my family, friends, and the norms of society in general, having already bought and over-payed for a dump I hate in a neighborhood where wearing a flak jacket is the "new black" in fashion
Sure, I love Stress & Cat Food